• Enter THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA disguised in page’s attire

    THURIO

    Sir Proteus, what says Sylvia to my suit?

    PROTEUS

    O, sir, I find her milder than she was,
    And yet she takes exceptions at your person.

    THURIO

    What, that my leg is too long?

    PROTEUS

    5No, that it is too little.

    THURIO

    I’ll wear a boot, to make it somewhat rounder.

    JULIA

    [Aside] But love will not be spurred to what it loathes.

    THURIO

    What says she to my face?

    PROTEUS

    She says it is a fair one.

    THURIO

    10Nay, then, the wanton lies; my face is black.

    PROTEUS

    But pearls are fair, and the old saying is,
    Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies’ eyes.

    JULIA

    [Aside] ’Tis true, such pearls as put out ladies’ eyes,
    For I had rather wink than look on them.

    THURIO

    15How likes she my discourse?

    PROTEUS

    Ill, when you talk of war.

    THURIO

    But well when I discourse of love and peace?

    JULIA

    [Aside] But better, indeed, when you hold your peace.

    THURIO

    What says she to my valor?

    PROTEUS

    20O, sir, she makes no doubt of that.

    JULIA

    [Aside] She needs not, when she knows it cowardice.

    THURIO

    What says she to my birth?
  • THURIO, PROTEUS, and JULIA enter. JULIA is disguised in the clothing of a male servant.

    THURIO

    Sir Proteus, what does Sylvia have to say about my declarations of love for her?

    PROTEUS

    Oh, sir, she’s not as cold as she used to be, though she still objects to you.

    THURIO

    What, because my leg is too long?

    PROTEUS

    No, because it’s too skinny.

    THURIO

    I’ll wear a boot with spurs, then, to make it look thicker.

    JULIA

    (aside) But love can’t be spurred to like what it hates.

    THURIO

    What does she have to say about my face?

    PROTEUS

    She says it is an attractive one.

    THURIO

    No, then, she’s lying—my face is ugly.

    PROTEUS

    But pearls are beautiful, and the old saying is that ugly men are pearls in beautiful women’s eyes.

    JULIA

    (aside) It’s true—the kind of pearls that make ladies go blind. I’d rather shut my eyes than look at them.

    pearls that make ladies go blind

    Meaning cataracts, a condition in which the lens of the eye grows opaque and white, blurring vision and making the eye somewhat resemble a pearl.

    THURIO

    How does she like my conversation?

    PROTEUS

    Not much, when you talk about war.

    THURIO

    But she likes it when I talk about love and peace?

    JULIA

    (aside) But even better when you hold your peace and don’t talk at all.

    THURIO

    What does she have to say about my bravery?

    PROTEUS

    Oh, sir, she doesn’t question it at all.

    JULIA

    (aside) She doesn’t need to, since she knows he’s a coward.

    THURIO

    What does she have to say about my lineage?