• Storm still Enter LEAR and FOOL

    LEAR

    Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow!
    You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
    Till you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks!
    You sulfurous and thought-executing fires,
    5Vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
    Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
    Smite flat the thick rotundity o' th' world,
    Crack nature’s molds, all germens spill at once
    That make ingrateful man!

    FOOL

    10O nuncle, court holy water in a dry house is better than this rainwater out o' door. Good nuncle, in, and ask thy daughters blessing. Here’s a night pities neither wise man nor fool.

    LEAR

    Rumble thy bellyful! Spit, fire! Spout, rain!
    15Nor rain, wind, thunder, fire are my daughters.
    I tax not you, you elements, with unkindness.
    I never gave you kingdom, called you children.
    You owe me no subscription. Why then, let fall
    Your horrible pleasure. Here I stand, your slave—
    20A poor, infirm, weak, and despised old man.
    But yet I call you servile ministers,
    That will with two pernicious daughters joined
    Your high engendered battles 'gainst a head
    So old and white as this. Oh, ho! 'Tis foul.

    FOOL

    25He that has a house to put ’s head in has a good headpiece.
    The codpiece that will house
  • The storm continues. LEAR and the FOOL enter.

    LEAR

    Blow, winds! Blow until your cheeks crack! Rage on, blow! Let tornadoes spew water until the steeples of our churches and the weathervanes are all drowned. Let quick sulfurous lightning, strong enough to split enormous trees, singe the white hair on my head. Let thunder flatten the spherical world, crack open all the molds from which nature forms human beings, and spill all the seeds from which ungrateful humans grow!

    FOOL

    Oh, uncle, it’s better to smile and flatter indoors where it’s dry than get soaked out here. Please, uncle, let’s go in and ask your daughters to forgive you. This storm has no pity for either wise men or fools.

    LEAR

    Let thunder rumble! Let lightning spit fire! Let the rain spray! The rain, the wind, the thunder and lightning are not my daughters. Nature, I don’t accuse your weather of unkindness. I never gave you a kingdom or raised you as my child, and you don’t owe me any obedience. So go ahead and have your terrifying fun. Here I am, your slave—a poor, sick, weak, hated old man. But I can still accuse you of kowtowing, taking my daughters' side against me, ancient as I am. Oh, it’s foul!

    FOOL

    Anyone who has a house to cover his head has a good head on his shoulders.
    The guy who finds a place to put his penis
    Before he has a house of his own
    Will wind up dirt poor and covered with lice