• Alarum. Excursions. Enter FALSTAFF and COLEVILE, meeting

    FALSTAFF

    What’s your name, sir? Of what condition are you, and of
    what place, I pray?

    COLEVILE

    I am a knight, sir, and my name is Colevile of the Dale.

    FALSTAFF

    Well, then, Colevile is your name, a knight is your degree,
    5and your place the Dale. Colevile shall be still your name, a
    traitor your degree, and the dungeon your place, a place deep
    enough so shall you be still Colevile of the Dale.

    COLEVILE

    Are not you Sir John Falstaff?

    FALSTAFF

    As good a man as he, sir, whoe'er I am. Do ye yield, sir, or
    10shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat, they are the drops of thy
    lovers and they weep for thy death. Therefore rouse up fear
    and trembling, and do observance to my mercy.

    COLEVILE

    I think you are Sir John Falstaff, and in that thought yield
    me.

    FALSTAFF

    15I have a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine, and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my name. An I had but a belly of any indifferency, I were simply the most active fellow in Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes me. Here comes our general.
  • Calls to arms are sounded. Soldiers cross the stage. FALSTAFF and COLEVILE enter and confront one another.

    FALSTAFF

    What’s your name, sir? What’s your rank, and where are you from?

    COLEVILLE

    I am a knight, sir. My name is Coleville of the Valley.

    FALSTAFF

    Well, then, Coleville is your name, your rank is knight, and the valley is where you’re from. Coleville will still be your name now that “traitor” is your rank, and the dungeon is where you’ll be. It’s a place so deep that you’ll still be in a kind of valley.

    COLEVILLE

    Aren’t you Sir John Falstaff?

    FALSTAFF

    I’m as good a man as Falstaff, whoever I am. Will you surrender? Or am I going to have to break a sweat making you surrender? If I sweat, the drops will be the tears of your loved ones, weeping over your death. So you’d better get scared and start to shake, and start praying to me for mercy.

    COLEVILLE

    I think you are Sir John Falstaff, and so I surrender.

    FALSTAFF

    My enormous belly can speak in many languages, and each language proclaims my name and my name alone. If I had a moderately sized belly, all I’d be is an anonymous but very successful soldier. But my belly, my belly, my belly blows my cover. Here comes the general.