• Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, ANGELO, and BALTHASAR

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
    My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
    Say that I lingered with you at your shop
    To see the making of her carcanet,
    5And that tomorrow you will bring it home.
    But here’s a villain that would face me down
    He met me on the mart, and that I beat him
    And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
    And that I did deny my wife and house.—
    10Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.
    That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to show;
    If the skin were parchment and the blows you gave were ink,
    Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    15I think thou art an ass.

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

       Marry, so it doth appear
    By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.
    I should kick being kicked; and, being at that pass,
    You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    You’re sad, Signior Balthasar. Pray God our cheer
    20May answer my good will and your good welcome here.
  • ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS,ANGELO, and BALTHASAR enter.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Signior Angelo, please excuse us. My wife gets angry when I’m late. Here’s the story we’ll tell her: that I was with you at your shop, watching you make her necklace, and that you’re going to deliver it tomorrow. But here comes a scoundrel who says he saw me at the marketplace and that I beat on him, told him I’d given him a thousand marks in gold, and then lied about my wife and my house. You drunkard, what was that all about?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    Say what you want, but I know what I know. You beat me at the marketplace, and I have the bruises to prove it. If my skin were paper and your punches were ink, you could read the beating on my body.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    I think you’re an ass.

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    Honestly, it sure looks that way, judging by all the beatings and the bad treatment I’m getting. Since I’m an ass, I ought to kick like one. Then you’d be scared of me and keep away.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Signior Balthasar, you look upset. I hope the good meal I’m going to give you will show the goodwill I bear you and how welcome you are.