• Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
    Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave
    Is wandered forth, in care to seek me out.
    By computation and mine host’s report,
    5I could not speak with Dromio since at first
    I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.
    Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
    How now, sir? is your merry humor altered?
    As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
    You know no Centaur? You received no gold?
    10Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
    My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
    That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    What answer, sir? When spake I such a word?

    ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    15I did not see you since you sent me hence,
    Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave me.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    Villain, thou didst deny the gold’s receipt
    And told’st me of a mistress and a dinner,
    For which, I hope, thou felt’st I was displeased.

    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    20I am glad to see you in this merry vein.
    What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me?
  • ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE enters.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    The gold I gave Dromio is safe and sound at the Centaur, and the inn host says that Dromio has left and is looking for me. I haven’t spoken to him since I sent him away from the marketplace earlier. Here he comes.
    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE enters.
    So, sir. Are you over your ridiculous mood? If you like being hit, crack some more jokes. You never heard of the Centaur? You weren’t given any gold? Your mistress sent for me to come to dinner? The Phoenix is my house? Were you mad when you spoke to me so madly?

    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    Said what, sir? When did I say all that?

    ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    Just now. Right here. Less than half an hour ago.

    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    I haven’t seen you since you sent me to the Centaur with the gold you gave me.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

    You moron, you denied having any gold, and you told me about a mistress and a lunch. And I hope you realized I wasn’t very happy about it.

    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

    I’m glad to see you in such a merry mood. But what’s the joke? Please, master, tell me.