• Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and the OFFICER

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Fear me not, man. I will not break away:
    I’ll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
    To warrant thee, as I am ’rested for.
    My wife is in a wayward mood today
    5And will not lightly trust the messenger
    That I should be attached in Ephesus.
    I tell you, ’twill sound harshly in her ears.
    Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS with a rope’s end
    Here comes my man. I think he brings the money.
    How now, sir? Have you that I sent you for?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    10Here’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    But where’s the money?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    I’ll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    15To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    To a rope’s end, sir, and to that end am I returned.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    And to that end, sir, I will welcome you. (beats DROMIO OF EPHESUS)
  • ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS enters with the OFFICER.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Don’t worry, man, I won’t try to escape. When it’s time for me to be freed, I’ll pay you the fee you’re entitled to for arresting me. My wife’s in a perverse mood today. She’ll be suspicious when the messenger tells her that I was arrested. I tell you, this will make her angry when she hears about it.
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS enters, holding a length of rope.
    Here’s my servant. I think he’s got the money. Hello there, sir! Do you have what I told you to get?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    Yes. And this rope will take care of everybody, I guarantee it.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    But where’s the money?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    Why, sir, I spent it on this rope.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    You idiot! Five hundred ducats for a rope?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    I can get you five hundred ropes for that price.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    Why did I just send you home?

    DROMIO OF EPHESUS

    To get a piece of rope. And here I am, with that piece.

    ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

    And I’ll use that piece of rope to welcome you with. (beats DROMIO OF EPHESUS)